I Always Wanted To Be A Girl
by Strikey-Chan
Summary: Gale tries to jinx Gill, but fails and ends up turning all the bachelors in town into girls instead! What kind of madness will ensue? OOC-ness, pervy-ness, references like cosplay and the title all get thrown in.
1. When Gale Managed To Screw Up

**Act One:**

**When Gale Managed To Screw Up**

* * *

"Gale, I don't think this is a good idea..."The wizard's angel side said.

"You idiot. Of course this is a good idea!" His demon side laughed.

_Yes. Of course this is a good idea. _The real wizard nodded.

After finding out that Gill had seemingly broken Hikari's heart the other day when he saw her walking in the forest crying and using his awesome wizardly powers to read her mind, Gale felt unnaturally sadistic. Like, revenge-sadistic.

"Let's see... 'Spell to make someone a smartass forever'... It would make no difference... 'Spell to make your cooking the most delicious in the world'... That's unnecessary... 'Spell to make a man's pride disappear'..." The wizard considered that for a moment.

"PERFECT!"

While his angel side and demon side were talking about what would happen if Gale went through with the spell, he actually finished. Alright, he was slurring the words to an ancient language_a lot_, but he still finished.

"You've got to stop him!"

Demon Gale pssh'ed. "Pssh, why should I?"

"Do you _want_ the incident from 1905 to repeat itself?"

"Oh, calm down. Galey was just a wee-kid back then. He was just fifty-two years old. Give it a break!"

Angel Gale folded his arms. "Yes, but -"

"Besides, I – or we, anyways – only get to see the sadistic side of Gale like, once in every half a century!" Demon Gale said.

There was a bright pink light that lit up the entire room. Demon Gale and Angel Gale finally stopped talking and stared at the light. "Oh cra-!"

BOOM!

* * *

**Morning in a certain house...**

Chase woke up as the sunlight lit up his face. He yawned. He didn't want to wake up and he felt itchy in all sorts of places. Yesterday was tiring. He covered himself with his blankets. So cold too.

The peach-head reached his hand down to his boxers and began scratching his...

Va-gi-na...?

_Pause. Rewind. Play._

"HOLY-WHAT-THE-SON-OF-A-MOTHER-FU-"

**Morning in another certain house...**

"Ugh..."

Gale was lying face-flat on the floor. Angel Gale and Demon Gale was trying so-oh-so hard not to laugh.

"Ah... Fairy... Bunny... What did I _do _last night?" The wizard also wondered why his voice sounded higher.

But of course Gale didn't ask the last question out loud.

"You sound... Drunk." Demon Gale commented.

"Uh... well... Help me out here..."

"We can't help you. We're inside of you, idiot." Angel Gale pointed out.

Demon Gale smirked. "That sounded sexual."

"You sorta tried to jinx... Gilbert...? Giria? Someone along those lines. You failed, which isn't a bad problem since everybody makes mistakes, but..." Angel Gale hesitated. "Umm... Go look into a mirror, please."

"Excuse me for a moment then..." The wizard got up and entered his bathroom. In his mirror stared back a very beautiful girl with long silver hair, side of it tucked into a braid.

"... Well... that went well." Was what Gale said, but what he wanted to say was 'BLOODY HELL!'

"It's not that bad!" Angel Gale said with a big (*cough*fake*cough*) smile. "At least it's only you -"

"_WIZARD!" _several pissed off voices yelled outside of his door.

"Uh... look at the bright side..."

Demon Gale sweatdropped. "Look, dude... We gotta chiao." and with that, the two spirits disappeared inside the wizard's body without a trace left.

_Bastards_. Gale thought.

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

"No..."

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY!"

"DUDE, LET US IN!"

"SERIOUSLY!"

Gale leaned against the door with his face as derp as ever and his heart as panicky as ever. There were at least four pissed off people outside. Ready to bust the door down. They reminded him of those fangirls on a certain website called .

"Wow, you'd think he'd _like _girls chasing after him." Demon Gale commented, seemingly to have returned. This earned him a smack from Angel Gale.

"WIZARD! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"Experiment..." The silver-haired woman replied simply.

"OH FUCK THIS SHIT!"

Gale felt a hard kick through his door. BLAM. And Owen kicked the door down.

"Where the hell are you?!" Chase snarled while searching for Gale.

"Down. Here." The wizard said from under the very heavy wooden door.

"YOU!" Gill – or FemGill, anyways, yelled and pointed a finger at the wizard. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Why put the blame on me...?" The quiet girl asked.

"Because you're the only one in the whole of town who can use magic!"

"Wrong... The bitch – I mean witch can use magic too..." Gale fought back.

FemGill had long, flowing blonde hair but had the usual snobby look on his face. Gale stared back from the ground. Gill smirked. "Precisely. That's why the other four of us went to her house to investigate."

"I _knew_ it was you." A girl that seemed like Chase (due to the eye-catching peach-coloured hair) squinted her eyes.

"And what do you want me to do...?" _How rude, barging into people's house like this._

"Fix us, duh!" a voice that seemed just as high and annoying as Luke said.

"Just – just let me get up, first, please..."

Everyone stepped back and let the immortal being stand up from being squashed by the door.

Gale looked over at the angry mob. Everybody looked different, and it was kinda hard to tell for Owen. But they were definitely girls. Luke's blazing blue hair was tied up in a messy ponytail, and his frame got shorter. Owen's hair grew a few inches longer, and his body grew more slender too. Chase's hair was in two adorable pigtails, and his hair grew a shade darker. Gill had waist-long blonde hair that looked like fucking silk.

Well. At least they were all hot.

"I'm sorry everyone... It was only meant for Gill -"

"HEY!"

"And I'm also especially sorry to you, Chase. I didn't mean to make you any more feminine then you already wer-"

Smashed by the door again.

"I'm still a man, thank you."

"Well, I said I was sorry... Not my fault you have such girly -"

Smashed by the door again-again.

" Stop that... I need to fix this..." The poor Gale pulled out a spell book. "Oh dear... what was the spell I used...?"

"Hey, hey! Can we have a sleepover here while Wizard finds out the spell for us?" Luke suggested cheerfully, who was surprisingly the only guy who was okay with his gender bender. Besides, everybody would be surrounded by hot girls. (who were secretly their guy-friends of course, but hey, we don't need the spoiler!)

Owen gave Luke a thumbs up and a wink. _Very very good idea, Luke._

"I still can't believe we're girls..." Chase said uncomfortably. _I get to cosplay as Hatsune Miku and shit, hell yeah!_

"Yeah, thanks to this guy... Girl... Um..." Gill said, looking at Gale while stuck.

"Just use female pronouns please..." Owen sighed together with the wizard.

Fine. Gill crossed HER arms and sighed as SHE looked at the other GIRLS.

Luke grinned. "Oi... Dudes." he said with a very pervy grin. "Don't we have to buy new clothes as long as we're like this?"

Gale resisted the urge to facepalm.

Chase blushed madly.

Gill fainted.

And Owen actually facepalmed.

This was going to be a long spell indeed...

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**The hell am I thinking?**

**Anyway, this story is inspired by Bri Nara's Hetalia crack-fic, 'It's Raining Women'.**

**What else do I say...**

**Oh yes. I'm also an idiot for starting up _another_ new series right during the March holidays.**

**- Strikey**


	2. When we had to measure our

**Act Two:**

**When we had to measure our...**

* * *

"I can't do it."

"Sure you can, Chase."

"I can't fucking do it."

"I can't do it either."

"Man up, Gill."

The blonde gave Owen a death-glare. "That is possibly the worst thing to say in this situation."

"It's a goddamn store. How hard could it be for us to walk in?"

After Luke had made the suggestion that they all needed to buy new clothes, Gill decided to bring all the boys out of town (cause he's a rich bastard) and into the city so that nobody could find them. Also, they would meet the other four bachelors later, whenever that would be.

The girls had just finished buying clothes for themselves. Nice shirts, pants, shoes (they finally understood why girls loved shoe-shopping), and tiny_ mini-skirts_. The last thing to do was to buy... the forbidden clothing.

Which was why they were now standing outside this... _Ordinary_ store. The place where men are strictly forbidden from entering.

"Why won't you suck it up and walk in?" Luke asked, rolling his eyes.

"Because I still have my manly pride!" Gill huffed.

"Says the one in - " Wizard said.

"Shut up!"

"A mini-skirt..."

"I said shut up!"

"And is now wearing fake-glasses 'because they make me look cuter'..."

"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP! AND THEY'RE NOT FAKE, AFTER REALIZING IT WAS YOU, I WENT BLIND! YOU STUPID WIZARD! UGLY!"

Gale narrowed his eyes. "How dare you."

"How dare I what?"

"Call me stupid... _And_ ugly..."

Luke mock-gasped. "Holy crap! Gill swore! Someone call the cops! GILL SWORE!"

Chase sweatdropped. "There's really no shame in it, Gill." The peach-head was taking this opportunity to finally be in a school girl uniform. Which meant a mini-skirt. He finally understood what it was like for Sailor Moon. And Kagome. And Tohru Honda. And every anime girl he had ever drawn in a mini-skirt. And it felt _awesome__._

"Uh, guys. Everyone's staring at us."

The girls sucked up their pride and took their first step into the store. Despite what she said just now, Chase instantly started blushing together with Gill. Owen grinned at the perv's heaven before her. They saw the underwear in bins, that they would have to dig out. As former men with at least _some _decency, it felt very wrong.

Gale stepped back, took Chase's hand, and dragged the lady into the forbidden zone.

"W-Wizard? What the eff are you doing?!" she squeaked as the silver-haired girl dragged her in.

"If I have to go in there..." She said. "You're coming in with me..."

"NO! I DON'T LOOK AT LADIES' UNDERWEAR!"

"What about all those sketches of naked girls you always draw..?" Wizard questioned.

"H-how the hell do you know about those?!"

The silverette giggled. "Magic..."

"THOSE ARE DIFFERENT! THOSE ARE _BODY PORPOTIONS_!"

Suddenly the mental image of Chase holding up a lacy red thong saying 'How's this~?' sprung into the wizard's mind. Gale was as red as Gill, and that was saying something.

"Hey, you." a deep, but feminine voice said behind of Chase.

"What do you want, sucker -"

The peachette was speechless as she stared.

A blonde stood there with a cowboy hat and her hands on her hips. She seemed achingly familiar.

"C-Calvin..?"

"Finally we found you! After contacting Gill, I couldn't find you guys anywhere!" The beautiful woman huffed.

Wizard stared. "Where are the others...?" She was curious to see their gender-bent forms.

"RIGHT HERE~!"

BAM.

Chase was squashed by the huge Julius.

"Chasey! I, like, missed you _so_ much!"

A much more feminine version of Toby stood smiling behind the purple-haired woman.

Chase managed to push Julius away. "Urgh! Stay away from me!"

Luke, who was behind of Chase, gasped. "Woah! Dude, you haven't changed a bit!"

"Haven't changed a bit?" Julius repeated in shock. "Can't you see that I've turned into a woman?"

Julius looked exactly the same, except that if you looked _really_ closely, his chest got bigger. But seemingly, that was it.

"Chase, he's just like you then!" Luke whispered into the peachette's ear, which gained him a smack.

Jin, though, was a completely different story.

Her hair got even longer (as if it wasn't long enough already), she wasn't wearing her glasses, and she was just down right beautiful.

"Excuse me, but you ladies need help?" asked a staff member as she saw the nine girls making a mess of themselves.

Gill waved her hands. "Huh? Oh no -"

Luke clapped her hands. "Oh yes, thanks for asking! You see, our friend here, Gill – I mean Gillian, she has trouble finding a suitable bra size for herself..."

* * *

**_Later_...**

"It's okay, don't be shy."

Was what the staff member had said, but how could she not be shy? Like mentioned above, all of them were former men with at least _some_ decency. How could she be expected to strip in front of this woman?! And in front of her eight former-male-friends too?!

"Yeah, _Gillian_, don't be shy~" Owen cooed.

_I swear, after that goddamn Wizard turns us all back into normal, I will falken punch you RIGHT IN THE ADAM'S APPLE!_

"After all, we're all _girls_." Chase smirked as she looked up from whatever magazine she was reading.

_Why me?! I swear to God, why me?! I wanted to **see** boobs, not be the one who **shows** boobs!_

"It's all because of the need of health, Gillian." Jin said curtly.

_Well... If he puts it that way..._

"Urgh..." The flustered girl said, as she reluctantly took off her shirt.

"Oh dear, you're not wearing any bra today? Did you run out or something?" The staff member giggled as she took out a measuring tape.

_Oh no... Wait for it..._

"Hey, lady!" Luke suddenly said, taking off her shirt. "While you're at it, can you measure the rest of our breasts sizes as well?"

* * *

**Even more later...**

Gill threw her bag of clothes to the floor and instantly ended up on the couch. "Never. Again."

Jin rubbed her temples. "Agreed."

Julius was smiling as she carried half the mall in her bags. "What's wrong?"

"You kept us in until closing time, sprayed us with every Italian perfume within sight, and I swear you molested that poor chick at the ice cream shop."

"It's called opportunities, dear." The purple-haired woman giggled as she gropped Chase's chest.

"O-Ow! Get off! GROPE YOUR OWN DAMN BOOBS!" The pigtailed girl managed to shove Julius away.

Julius stared down as if she _just _noticed them there. She stared blankly then reached up to do the natural thing men do in gender-bender fanfics.

SQUISH.

"Ooh."

SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH.

"OOH!"

Chase hid her face with her hands. "I'm sorry I said that. I am _so_ sorry I said that."

"You should be sorry. We'll never be able to remove this mental image now." Calvin rolled her eyes. "Even _Owen's_ not as perverted as that, and that's saying something."

"Hey!"

Wizard looked at his house. "Are you all really staying here for the night...?"

"Yes. Yes we are." Everyone chorused.

"Hey Jin, what about the clinic?" Chase asked, curious.

"I've closed it down... I hope..."

"Okay ... so who's sleeping where?"

Wizard went into her room, slightly smiling at what a fun day it was today. "Well... I'm sleeping alone... Every room has two beds, by the way... So goodnight..." And so she left.

The girls looked at each other, each one of them holding their bags of clothes. What a good question that was.

"Can I sleep with Owen?"

Owen looked at the stoic Calvin's face for about 2 seconds before looking away blushing. Chase facepalmed. Julius had a rape face on that could've had a sign saying 'M Rated Smut'.

"Yeah, sure... Whatever..."

"I know my precious Chasey can sleep in the same room as me." Julius wrapped an arm around Chase. Now her rape face said 'Yuri'.

"Then I'll sleep with you guys." Luke said with an oblivious grin. "I have to save Chase in case she gets in trouble with Julius."

And yet as she said this, the rape face switched to 'MA Rated Sex.' How the hell did Julius learn how to make such expensive rape faces?

Probably deviantart or something...

"Wait, I have a better way to do this." Chase ran off, and came back with a top hat full of paper scraps. "You pull out the name of your roommate here. Owen, you first."

The redhead reached into the hat. The moment she read the name, she turned a nasty shade of green. Everyone saw the name as the paper fell to the floor. Calvin.

"Okay, so I guess I was going to sleep with him after all..."

Gill shoved her hand into the hat. She was grateful that she ended up with Toby. At least she wasn't _that_ much of an annoyance...

Chase prayed so, so, so, _so_ very hard as she dug her hand into the box. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she received Luke's name and not Julius'. Well, they were best friends for a long time now...

Jin's face paled and turned into a sickly shade of blue. That meant it was just her and Julius left.

"Well, well, well~" Julius cackled. Jin swore she saw her life (not to mention virginity) flash before her eyes.

The purple-haired lady pulled the Asian woman's legs into the room.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Was what all could be heard, as the door closed...

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**Alright, no one reviewed, but hey, I know all of you silently read it because I saw the number of views on my traffic! :D**

**Chase: You're hopeless.**

**Ooh, just wait till the PMS-ing chapter...**

**Chase: O_O**

**Toby, do the review-begging-thingy.**

**Toby: Review please. -bows-**


	3. Oops Gale Did It Again

**Act Three:**

**Oops Gale Did It Again**

* * *

The room was filled with the _Bad Bro__mance_ as Luke's phone rang.

The man sat up from the bed and stared at the clock beside it. Four in the morning. Who the _hell_ calls someone at four in the morning?

"Luke! Answer it!" said the very grouchy Chase on the floor beside the bed.

_Sheesh, aren't you cranky... _Luke thought as he grabbed the phone. "Yo, what'cha want?"

"LUKE! Where are you, man? Dale is up all worried sick about you!"

The groggy-eyed Luke yawned. Was this Bo? Sounds like Bo... "I'm in somewhere and all of us guys got all the girls we need here." he was dead-tired, so he wasn't exactly thinking about what he was saying.

"Wait, WHAT? Where are you guys? And why does your voice sound so different?"

"Well, somethin' happened and -"

Beep. Beep. Did Bo just hung up on him? Luke dropped her phone onto the ground. Who the hell cares. All she wanted was to sleep.

* * *

**In Wizard's Room...**

The silver-haired woman sighed. She was confident it would work this time. Spellbook in hand and standing in a chalk circle, Gale muttered some ancient words to herself. She knew what she was doing.

Angel Gale facepalmed; Demon Gale just continued laughing.

"Are you _sure_ it's going to work this time, Gale?" Angel Gale said sceptically.

"Yes..."

Of course it was going to work this time, who did they take her for?

Demon Gale smirked. "Okay. Go give it a shot."

Gale starting waving her hands and chanting; her silver locks were flying all over the place.

"Dumble dora the explora -"

"Achoo!"

"Dumble dora the explora -"

"Achoo!"

"DUMBLE DORA THE EXPLORA -"

"ACHOO!"

Gosh, it was like Demon Gale was doing this on purpose or something...

Gale annoyedly smacked – more like threw – his demon self back onto his own body. Angel Gale huffed.

"Dumble dora the explora, pastels a l'huile!"

* * *

**2 hours later...**

Nine screams were heard, all of which sounded like Anissa, Candace, Kathy, Luna, Maya, Phoebe, Renee, Selena and Hikari.

Angel Gale facepalmed.

Gale took a deep breath. No – just, no.

Luke came barging into her room with a face that said O_O

Wizard merely brushed past him while carrying the spellbook.

"Wha -"

"No questions, just block the front door. Now."

* * *

_**Even More Later...**_

"Dude, why did you wake up all of us in frickin' six in morning just for _this_?" Chase asked with a hammer and a wooden board in hand.

Gale didn't care. She just wanted the front door locked and blocked, pronto.

"You know, I think I heard very manly screams all coming from the houses of every girl in town." Owen told everyone as he hammered a nail onto the wooden board.

Gill stared at Gale with wide eyes. "You. Didn't."

Gale stared back with a piercing gaze. "I. Did."

"What? Why -"

His question was interrupted by very masculine shouts and yells.

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

There were at least _eight_ pissed guys pounding the door of Gale's. She secretly sighed. The wooden boards would hold them down for a while. For a while.

"WIZARD, LET US IN!"

"OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY!"

"LIKE, SERIOUSLY!"

Owen, Gill, Toby, Julius, Chase, Luke, Calvin and Jin all looked at the silver-haired Wizard. She shook her head.

It didn't take long for the pounding to die down. But by then, all the people inside Gale's _house_ were screaming into his ear.

Everyone starting shouting at the poor immortal being.

"ALL THE GIRLS, WIZARD! ALL THE GIRLS!"

"KATIE'S BOOBS!"

"Way to go, Wizard."

"KATIE'S BOOBS!"

"Why, Wizard, why?"

"THE GODDAMN BOOBS!"

"DO YOU REALIZE THAT MAYA CAN RAPE CHASE NOW?!"

"Hey!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Wizard. I expected better from you."

"Alright, alright, I get it!" The exasperated being yelled in frustration, which was an extremely rare thing to happen. "But I still can't let them in -"

The pounding suddenly continued. "WIZARD, IF YOU DON'T LET US IN, I SWEAR I WILL NEVER VISIT YOUR HOUSE ANYMORE!"

Wizard kept his cool. Pfft. He could handle that.

"NO MORE MUSHROOMS!"

Tempted, but still could handle that.

"NO MORE INSTANT COFFEE!"

Gale paled. Everyone in the house glared at him.

"Okay, men. Let them in."

* * *

**Tomorrow morning...**

"You know, the town will get suspicious when they notice all the young people are gone."

"Yeah, who cares?"

"Dude, we're going to run out of money if we keep buying new guy clothes for you guys."

They were at the mall. Shopping. Again. For all the new genderbent people.

Anissa looked exactly like Jin had he been wearing glasses. Maya had long side-bangs while his ginger hair spiked out at the back. It would have looked completely awkward if he kept the ribbon, so fancy Julius told him to replace them with clips.

Candace had neat, but at the same time adorable blue hair with an ahoge. Luna had his messy pink hair parted to the side. He kinda looked like a furby.

Kathy was a hunk – muscular and strong, and his blonde hair was shrunk down to a small ponytail. Renee didn't change a bit apart from the lack of chest and the decrease of the size of his eyes. Phoebe kinda looked like Len from Vocaloid except that the hair was curlier and – well, greener.

Selena was a total hunk too – his chest was exposed for all the girls to see, and his flaming red hair reached to his shoulders. Hikari looked like her brother Kasey except that she had bangs.

Let's see... Nine guys and nine girls. People would have thought it was a group date or something. Nonetheless, people still approached the hot chicks.

"Hey there~" A guy flirted with Luke. He seemed completely oblivious to it.

While the leader was flirting with Luke, his right-hand-guy went to Chase while the guy-that-nobody-ever-notices-in-a-trio went to Gill.

"So..." said the guy who went to Chase. He played with the peachette's hair, making her flinch. "You single?"

Maya literally popped up from behind Chase. "_Back off, bitch_." he hissed. "_She's **mine**_."

The dude backed off. Gill was attempting to death-glare at her random flirt, but it wasn't working.

"So... What's your name?"

"Name? I'm Luke."

"That's a weird name for a girl."

"That's because I have a penis, duh."

His eyes widened. He then switched to Gill. "So... What's _your_ -"

SMACK.

"Leave. Me. Alone." Gill growled at both of her two predators.

* * *

_**Even More Later...**_

Gale sighed as (s)he rested on the bed. Everyone had finally gone home, and it was their own problems on how they would explain this to everyone else. The only responsibility Gale had was to reverse the spell and turn everybody back to normal, including herself.

"Life is tough, huh." Angel Gale said.

Gale set up the chalk and her spellbook again. She needed to try once more. It had to work. It just had to!

Demon Gale's eyes widened. "Galey, what are doing -"

"Crayones oleo pastel..." she paused just for dramatic effect. "PENTEL!"

Angel Gale sighed. "I'm afraid to see the results."

"That's what she said."

"Mind you, we're still guys." he said to Demon Gale.

Gale looked at her mirror hopefully to see if it worked.

And it did.

What stared back was the familiar hunky man with short silver hair and a beautiful braid tucked behind the ear. Never in Gale's life did he thought that seeing his short hair would make him so happy.

Angel and Demon Gale were both impressed that he didn't screw up this time. The wizard went to sleep with his heart content. Maybe the others were also ungenderbent, too.

…

…

…

And you thought this story was over? Hah!

* * *

_**12 hours later...**_

Nine screams and yells were heard off the distance in Echo Village.

Gale hid his face with his pillow. "No..."

Angel Gale and Demon Gale both facepalmed.

"Well, it looks like you still have work to do, Galey..."

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**Rio and Neil and Allen and the rest of the gang are next 8D**

**Chase: But are _we_ ungenderbent yet? You know, like Luke and Gill and _our_ gang?**

**Unfortunately, no. Come on, it's only three chapters! You can't expect me to let go of the fun yet.**

**Gill: *looks up* Did you _seriously_ name the title of this story 'I Always Wanted To Be A Girl'?**

**You just noticed? -_-**

**Chase: -sighs- Review, please.**


	4. Battle Of The Tsunderes

**Warning: This chapter contains more swearing than usual. Apologies.**

* * *

**Act Four:**

**Battle Of The Tsunderes**

* * *

**In the previous play... Justincaseyou'veforgotten...**

Eleven screams and yells were heard off the distance in Echo Village.

"Well, it looks like you still have work to do, Galey..."

**And so it continues! :D**

* * *

"Do you know that they're going to be blaming me for this?"

The silver-haired man stared at his crystal ball with a blank look. "Yes, and...?"

"Don't just 'and' me!"

"So what do you want me to do...?" Gale asked, suppressing a sigh.

The Witch Princess of Echo Village sighed. "Listen. When they come bangin' on my door, I'm goin' to sparkle 'em with some Ivoria dust -"

"Hold on. I thought that Ivoria was illegal."

Witch Princess clicked her tongue. "Don't tell the HG. I took it from some Harry Potter fangirl."

"..."

"Anyway, like I said, I'll sparkle all of 'em with the dust and teleport 'em to your place. Once those mice get in yo' house, I assume you will do the usual thing, you know, turn them back to normal, whatever, and teleport 'em back here." The blonde flipped her hair.

"... Screw you."

"Screw you too." Came the cheerful reply.

The silver-haired man rubbed his temples. "How do I turn them back, that's the question -"

Suddenly pounding was heard on his door. "OPEN UP!"

Gale looked at his crystal ball. The Witch Princess of Echo Village smirked. "Oh, and did I mention that Vivi ended up genderbent as well?"

"That's what you get when you mess up, Galey."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you too." The princess said cheerfully before shutting down the connection between her and Gale.

"GALE, I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T -"

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you woman..." the annoyed wizard muttered as he left his crystal ball and opened the door. He wasn't afraid of Vivi – after all, they were both the same immortal beings.

At his doorstep was a hot manly guy. Vivi's amber eyes flared. "Woman? WOMAN? Surprise, motherfucker -"

"Language." Gale muttered.

"- If you can't fucking see, oh yeah, I forgot, you have _heterochromia_, whatever shit that is on your eyes, you think you're so cool just because you have, like, twelve thousand fangirls -"

"Thirteen thousand, actually." Gale muttered.

"- But guess WHAT, Gale, guess WHAT. I'm not a woman anymore because you've done some kind of man-pride thing to my effin' ovaries and now is my dick huge or WHAT? I bet you were trying to do this so you could get Molly, couldn't you? Huh, you stupid wizard? But guess WHAT, Gale, guess WHAT. Now that I'm a dude, my dreams of real life yuri can come TRUE. It's on, brotha', it's oooon!"

Gale narrowed his eyes. "... Wut."

"I SAID -"

BAM!

Suddenly, people began popping out of nowhere. In clouds and shit. Five guys; six girls. Gale's eyes widened as a male butt came in contact with his face.

Vivi kept her (his) mouth shut. (S)he didn't know what to say anymore as a very handsome Asian guy was literally sitting on Gale's face.

"Wha... What the hell just happened?" A pig-tailed blonde gritted her teeth as she stood up properly. She was wearing a long jacket that made her look like a badass rocker, and the red eyes just made it better.

"I feel like I'm sitting on something." the guy who was sitting on Gale murmured.

"You are."

The man eeped in surprise as Gale kicked his face and body away from him.

"Where in the world are we?" Another woman that looked as if she was twenty muttered.

"Probably somewhere with unicorns..." a ponytailed ginger looked around dizzily, adjusting the lifejacket on her chest.

"Silly Rod, unicorns don't exist..." The snobby-looking yet beautiful redhead knocked 'Rod's head.

"I remember waking up wearing boxers... Or something..." A male blonde scratched his head.

"Seriously, Rio?" Said the pig-tailed girl.

"Hey guys, who are those?" A male brunette pointed at Gale and [genderbent] Vivi.

The two magical beings froze. Gale looked at Vivi.

"Get Chase, Kathy and the rest of the gang in here, pronto."

* * *

**Later...**

"Dude, you transformed back WITHOUT US?" Luke asked.

"Yes..."

"And when you did, these people turned genderbent?" Jin suggested.

"Yeah..."

"I'm Rio." said the male blonde.

"Iroha."

"Amir."

"Sanjay, sir."

"Soseki."

"... Yuri..."

"I'm Michelle!"

"Allen. -winkwink-"

"My name's Rod. :D"

"I'm Felicity."

"I'm Tina~"

"Neil."

Luke huffed. "Geez, why do the tsunderes always end up having pigtails?"

"Hey." Chase clicked his tongue.

"So are going to have a sleepover here or something until Mr. Wizard gets his spell back?" Rio cocked his head. Animal Parade gang (let's just call them that for now) all groaned.

"There aren't enough bedrooms..." Said the wizard.

"I wanna do cosplay." Chase moaned just loud enough for the ANB Gang to hear.

Rio looked at the pig-tailed peachette. "... Chase...?"

Chase looked at Rio in amazement. "Rio...?"

"Chase...?"

"Rio...?"

"CHASE!"

"RIO!"

Neil cut between them. "Hold your horses! You two know each other?"

Chase pushed him aside, smiling at Rio before hugging the huge man. "Duuuuh."

Neil grew flustered at the scene before her. After all, you know... Love triangles, tsunderes get jealous easily, it's cute, yadda yadda yadda.

"How you'd two met?"

Chase stuck out her tongue at the blonde. "None of yo' business."

Rio laughed slightly. "We were both in the city and both of us happened to be in a Fujoshi-con. That's how."

"Fujoshi?" Kathy said in confusion.

"The heck's a furishi?" asked Rod.

Allen patted the ginger's ponytailed head. "Goddess bless your soul."

Neil folded her arms. "That's nice and all, but... Could you refrain from clinging too much to Rio?"

Chase looked at her with a dumbfounded look. "Why?"

"Because."

"No."

"Get. Away. From. Him."

"Back off, betch."

_Ooh, cat fight, cat fight. _Everyone thought.

Rio raised his hands up. "Uh... You guys - "

Neil narrowed her eyes with Chase's. "You wanna go down, one on one?"

"Girl, I bought it, I nailed it, I polished it, I got it from my grandma's lawyer's son's girlfriend, my of course we goin' down."

Owen elbowed Calvin. "Quick, get the cardboard ready."

Neil folded her arms, exchanged a glance with Wizard and smirked. "Just Dance 4?"

"Bring. It. On." Chase spat.

Minutes later, after much pleading from Luke to borrow Wizard's Xbox, the man finally agreed and let the two pig-tailed tsunderes play.

* * *

"OOH! YOU GOIN' DOWN, SUCKER!"

It was a heated battle, alright. Neil was moving her legs like crazy. Maya was holding up a sign that said '**mother Chase ftw**' while Rio just looked on, sweatdropping.

Chase felt a growl at the bottom of her throat. She was struggling to catch up, seriously struggling. She whipped her head to the audience."Maya! Get your ass over here!"

The brunette immediately jumped onto the Tsundere battlefield cannonbolt-style and began dancing with the pig-tailed peachette.

Neil's mouth gaped. "What the hell!? That's no fair! Rod, you get your ass here too!"

The ponytailed ginger, upon Neil's command, jumped onto the battlefield and began dancing twice as fast as Chase and Maya.

In the end, the results ended in a tie. The four young adults were on Gale's floor sweating like water bottles.

Neil looked at Rio, smirking. Rio couldn't help but blush like a sissy. "So... I won, right...?"

* * *

**Random events occuring...**

Maya suddenly felt Hikari's gaze on him. He turned around to be face-to-face with a brown-eyed Cheshire cat grin.

"What do you want, Hikari...?"

"Oh, me? I just want you... To make all of us lunch."

The Animal Parade gang looked at the brunette as if she was crazy. Well, considering what she just requested, she probably was.

"... Say what."

"I want to see if being more manly means that you can actually cook now. It's an opportunity to get together with Chase, anyways," Hikari grinned. "Go get to it."

* * *

**Later...**

Everyone looked at their dishes. Scrambled eggs for everyone. Fairly simple. Some glared at Hikari. They stared in disgust at the food.

"Well... Eat." Maya said simply, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

Everyone picked up a fork and took a bite.

Utensils were dropped. Everyone exchanged mind blown looks with each other while Maya was still waiting for their critique. They all had the same thing running through their heads.

Holy shit.

These were amazing.

"Well...?"

Pride or Maya.

Pride or Maya.

Pride or Maya.

"Yucks."

"It sucks."

"Even my dog can make better food than that."

SPLAT.

Maya threw a dish of pasta at Chase's face and ran out of Gale's house crying.

"Oh my God."

"That was awesome."

"I will never diss scrambled eggs ever again!"

* * *

**Some more random events occuring...**

"I wish I was a girl again." Hikari muttered, already missing her original body.

"Hikari... I have an idea." Chase the awesome best friend came to the rescue.

"What?"

"You're a man now, right?"

Hikari looked at her pants for a second, then back at Chase. "Yeah, and?"

"Wizard is a man too, right?"

Something clicked onto Hikari's head. Sure, she wasn't a cosplayer, but she was an otaku smart enough to know what this meant. He grinned. The widest grin ever.

"Shit! Someone stop Hikari before she goes and rapes Wizard!"

"_He_."

"WHATEVER! Just stop Hikari!"

"Crap! Not the golden axe! OH FU -"

BLAM.

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**I have a feeling this chappie isn't so funny... -_-**

**I hoped you guys liked this update. I had fun writing the Battle Of The Tsunderes part. Also, thanks for all the funny reviews, by the way! They make my day :D**

**Chase: Maya can cook?!**

**Yeah. It's natural. - rolls eyes-**

**Neil: Review if you want to...**


	5. Fangirls Are Crazy, Period

**Act Five:**

**Fangirls Are Crazy, Period**

**Warning: This chapter has no plot.**

* * *

"What are you doing, Chase?"

"I'm reading a fanfiction, Luke."

"... What's a fanfiction?"

"A piece of fiction within a fandom utilizing characters and situations from a pre-existing work."

"...Huh?"

"Fangirl writing stuff."

"Oooh! Cool!" Luke looked up at the ceiling. "Hey, Strikey! Mind if we shatter the fourth wall for a chapter so we can read some fics?"

Sure, why not? ^_^

"Does that include fics about us?" Luke snatched the phone from her friend and started browsing.

Chase gave him a look. "Yeah, but be careful -"

"Look! Here's one about me and you!" Luke said excitedly.

"Luke! Bro! Look at the summary, rating and genres first!"

"Most of these say 'FAIL SUMMARY' anyways, so I shouldn't bother! Owen! Gill! Come here!"

_**One hour of reading a traumatizing fanfic later... **_

_**It's not bad writing, just... not everyone's cup of tea...**_

_**._.**_

Owen, Gill, and Luke stared blankly at the phone's screen. They only read halfway through the first chapter and they were already a nasty shade of green.

Luke's eyes widened. "Omfg."

Gill revolted. "What kind of person would write stuff like this?"

Chase finally snatched his phone away. "Fangirls with too much time on their hands, that's who."

Owen didn't say anything. "... I think I'm being turned on."

Luke pointed dramatically at Chase. "CHASE, YOU SICK FUCK!"

"Luke, none of... That... Really happened, y'know..."

"Oh." She turned her attention back to the redhead. "OWEN, YOU SICK FUCK!"

"I did not write that! You were the seme! I was just placed as a minor character!"

"Oh. ME, YOU SICK FUCK!"

Chase raised a brow as she scrolled through her browser. "And the HM section doesn't really get lemon stories that often, too..."

Facepalms everywhere.

* * *

"AAAAH!"

"WHAT THE BLOODY - ?!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

Several female girls ran over to Rio, Iroha and Tina's room. They were all freaking out and bashing on the door.

"Rio! Rio! RIO!"

A messy___-_haired Rio opened the door and glared. "What do you wa... Oh."

Half of the now-female boys were staring at Rio with wide eyes. And by half I mean: Rod, Amir, Neil, Allen, Luke, Gill, Julius, and Chase.

"Rio! We're bleeding and I don't even remember getting hurt last night!" Rod cried.

The three girls' faces had a mix between:

'Please, don't let it be ___that.'_

'Aw crap.'

'Why me?'

Tina scratched her chin. "Uh... ___where _are you bleeding from?"

They all looked down at their ruined nighties/pajama-shorts/pajama-pants.

Rio laughed. "It's just PMS, don't worry."

"..."

Tina facepalmed. "Wow, seriously?"

"... You mind explaining it to us then?"

"... None of you paid attention in health class when the doctors figured it out, did you?" Iroha deadpanned.

"Not even in the AU fics." Luke nodded.

Rio sighed. He had no idea how to start explaining. "Because... Uh... It's needed for... Uh... 'When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...' Uh... Does anybody know the next line?"

Awkward silence.

"You know what, just get in here."

One very awkward explanation of PMS later...

"... So ___that's _why you were always cranky once a month." Rod said in amazement.

"I shall never disrespect women again." Allen said amazement.

"Do you understand now?" Rio asked.

They all nodded.

* * *

"PIIIIIIILLOOOOOOW WAAAAAAAAR!"

Luke built great forts made of ... pillows. And Chase, Gale and Luke were the ones who fired at the other fort. Guess what they fired? That's right, ice cream.

Just kidding, they threw pillows, duh.

Gale was using a Levitating Spell to launch pillows at the plain-white-sheet side. Luke was just chucking pillows at the lacy-pillow side.

After getting smacked in the face with Chase's pillow, Luke threw the pillow straight at her.

Chase's eyes widened as the killer fluffy pillow of doom sped toward her. Then Chase ended up diving in front of Rio.

"Rioooooo-chaaaan!"

"Why are you going so slow?"

"It's for dramatic effe - OH SHIT!"

Chase got knocked back. She landed into Rio's arms.

Chase blushed until she got a rocket-nosebleed. The nosebleed made her fall out of Rio's arms and onto the floor. Chase was blushing, twitching, and grinning quite creepily I might add.

"Heheh. Chasey is bleeding from the wrong place." Luke smirked.

Maya, who was one of the spectators, immediately went to Chase's side. "You stupid bitch! You broke Chase's nose!" Maya spat. "Chase! My love! Speak to me!"

Chase still had a dazed look on her face. "Tell... My fangirls... That I love them..."

"It's even worse than I thought! She's making Yugioh Abridged references! WIZARD! KICK AMERICA'S ASS! NOW!"

"With pleasure."

Gale held up his wand. It started glowing fiercely. Until something crashed through the window and nailed Gale on the head.

"OW! SON OF A BI-"

BOOM.

Luke looked up. "Holy shi – Bo?!"

A droopy-eyed girl looked down awkward from the window. "Uhh... Hi... I was for some reason just teleported here... I think..."

"Wizard! You stupid ass bastard! You turned my little bro into a CHICK TOO?!"

Suddenly a blue-haired man looked into the window as well. "Sweeeeet chicken pie nuggets! How did the wizard get so many girls here? That's beyond me!"

Bo facepalmed. "Um, that's -"

Dale immediately jumped inside and began checking Luke, Chase and Gill out like the creeper he was. "You ladies wanna kick up the gig?" he winked.

Gill started blushing. A lot. Chase and Luke were smirking.

_Heh. Amateur_. They both thought.

Gale, inside was stiffling his laughter. "U-um... Mr. Dale, sir..."

"Yeeeees?"

"You're flirting with Chase, Gill and your own son." he snickered.

The smirk of Dale's dropped. "Say what."

Luke waved. "'Sup, pops!"

"SAY WHAAAAAAAAAT? O_O"

Everybody starting laughing their asses off.

"STFU! IT AIN'T FUNNY!"

"Relax, pops," Luke said while rofl-ing. "Same thing happened when I arrived."

Wizard smiled while nodding. "At least _they_ didn't get -"

Cue the twelve yells from Mineral Town.

"FUCK! ARE YOU KIDDING ME NOW?!"

* * *

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**-insert words of apology of not updating in a long time here-**

**GOOD NIGHT, AND I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.**

**-sleeps-**

**(SERIOUSLY THOUGH I'M SORRY.)**


End file.
